Month: October 2020

Who Is Taking Care of You? Celebrates A Milestone

Happy anniversary to us!!!

I started this blog in a private Facebook group one year ago today in anticipation that I was moving to a new city and wanted to maintain the friendships and support group that I was leaving behind. I love the fact that we have social media to help us keep and renew friendships.

The Who Is Taking Care of You? FB group celebrates a milestone today in that we hit our one year mark and it has grown to over 400 members from the US and 14 different countries. I have shared 277 blog posts focusing on the intersection of women’s and public health and created a website for housing our Resource information.  I love the unique perspectives we all bring to this group and I hope to see you engage even more. 

For those new to this blog, WELCOME! I am an ob/gyn that has advocated for women for the last thirty years. I have worked in public health for the last 16 years and am passionate about the intersection of women’s and public health. I can speak and write on this topic for hours.

As I work with women, the common theme I see is that you all do a great job taking care of others but you are not as good when it comes to caring for yourself. I am a firm believer that you need to be knowledgable about these three core factors; mental, physical and financial health. In order to focus on these items, I try to limit our posts to the following topics:

  • ‘Me Time’
  • Self Care
  • Self Reliancy

‘Me time’ is important for your mental health. I want for you to find at least 30 minutes a day to focus internally so that you can quiet your mind. This will enable you to develop tools so that you can handle your daily mini-crisis without increasing your anxiety levels.

Self Care is necessary to ensure that you are in charge of your physical health. You, and only you, are responsible for your health. We use the Well Woman Chart as a foundation so that you are armed with the tools and knowledge that you need to take charge of your health journey.

Self Reliancy is the topic that most of you are surprised by. Why do I think this is important? I believe that all of you need to acquire a skill to support yourselves and then you need to educate yourselves about your personal finances. I do not want you to work or live in a hostile environment because you cannot afford to leave. I do not want you to be lost if you lose your loved one because they always took care of your family’s finances.

Thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts with you. I am grateful for each and every one of you!

Velma Taormina, MD profile picture

Simplify Your Holiday Gift Giving and Gain Financial Health

It is Money Monday!

We will continue to destress by having you work on decreasing your financial stressors. Worrying about how to pay for all of your bills can make you physically sick so we want to work on decreasing the amount of money that you owe. You can simplify your holiday gift giving and gain financial health.  

For those of you that are new to this group, I believe that each one of you needs to be financially literate. I don’t want you to stay in a toxic home or relationship because you cannot afford to leave. I do not have any special certifications in this field. I am just sharing my thoughts with you like I share with my kids.

We began our conversation about how to pay for Christmas on September 25th. Three months before Christmas.   I asked if you preplan, budget and prepay for your holiday gifts and expenses or do you spend what you want and worry about it the following year? If you are in the latter group, I want for you to take the next 18 months to convert to a plan where you prepay for all of your holiday gifts and expenses. Yes, a good old fashion Christmas Savings account!

Although the MarketPlace article is from 2018, the average Christmas debt was $1054 and half paid it off within 3 months. Another 29% paid it off in 5 months. Some were still paying on the debt when the next holiday season rolled around.

Let’s walk through an example using my immediate family to see what kind of money we are talking about.

I have 2 parents, 1 mother-in-law, 1 spouse, 3 children and 2 boy/girl friends, 5 brothers + spouses, 4 in-laws + spouses, and 20 nieces and nephews. That is 47 individuals. If I gave each of them a gift and limited my costs to the following this is how much it would cost me.

$10 apiece = $470

$20 apiece = $940

$25 apiece = $1175

$50 apiece = $2350

I will have to decide if I am going to give everyone a gift or do we draw names to limit how many gifts we will exchange. You know that I am going to give my spouse and kids more than one gift. What kind of limits will I place on myself? Maybe I can gift them my time or talents instead.

What about the other special people in your life? Do you factor in your co-workers, employees, friends, church family members, angel trees, mailman, newspaper carrier, sports team coaches, teachers, housekeeper, lawn service, Christmas family donations, etc. When we add them in, it gets scary really quickly. Where does it end? Which of these things can you remove from your list? Again, maybe your time or talents would be a better way to show them you care. Maybe you spread your gifts out over the year instead of all in one month?

What about decorations, holiday outfits, pjs, holiday cards, special meals and drinks? What else can you add to this list?

If it is too stressful to think about prepaying (saving) for this in 2020, then use this year to keep strict records so that you can use 6-9 months of 2021 to save up for the 2021 holidays.

This year is so different for all of us. You have 5 weeks before Thanksgiving week. Your financial situation may or may not be different this year but I am going to challenge you to use this time to make a promise to yourself that you will limit holiday spending in some way this year. Sit down for dinner with your family and talk about it openly. Talk about it at work. I guarantee you that someone will be grateful to hear that you will not have a gift exchange this year.

You can make this decision for yourself and can just announce that you are taking a break this year. You are allowed to do this!

Is this too much for you? Start small. Make a promise to yourself that you will not buy any new holiday decorations this year. What can you reuse or repurpose? How can you simplify your decor? Do you really need a Christmas tree in each room? If you do, do not buy anything new for any of them this year.

For today, without thinking hard, write down ONE thing you will not buy this holiday season.

Me? Christmas Santas.

What about you? Leave a comment below and share your first thought.

mindfulness word cloud

Is Your Mind Full or Mindful?

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Mindfulness Monday!
 

Is your mind full or mindful?  It sounds really corny but this is a question you need to ponder.  How are you doing?  How are you feeling?  Do you feel that your mind is cluttered?  Are you being pulled in too many directions?

 

Focusing on yourself is not selfish. Building in ways to combat the daily stress that you face is going to make you mentally stronger. There are many ways to calm our minds. Whether it is yoga, sitting quietly in a room and reading or journaling or listening to Tibetan bells while sitting quietly meditating, there are many tools available to help you with this. You need to experiment with finding the method that is most soothing to you.

 

Some of my girlfriends cannot listen to the raindrops because they feel that it makes them want to pee but for others, it’s ok. See what is right for you.

 

Is meditating a foreign concept to you? It certainly wasn’t something I grew up doing but I have found that this is a useful strategy when I just need to go to another room to get away from others or the noise around me.

 

I have listened to all kinds of videos to see what I like. I have determined that I don’t want someone talking to me telling me what to do or how to breathe. What I do love is when I am sitting on my back porch during a rainstorm. This is what led me to explore the raindrop videos and the raindrops with Tibetan bells are now my favorite.

 
I challenge you this week to go out of your comfort zone and to find ONE new method to soothe your mind. You get to chose if  your mind is full or mindful?. It can be walking, meditating, reading a book, listening to music, knitting or taking a nap. There is no wrong way to do this. You just need to look for something that works for you.
 

You choose.

Mental illness awareness text with Lime Green ribbon color on helping hand on old aged wood background

Reducing the Stigma of Mental Illness

This week is Mental Illness Awareness Week so how appropriate that we spotlight this topic today. The National Association of Mental Illness, NAMI, is running a series of videos and blogs this week to hear the lived experiences of individuals who face the stigma of mental illness every day.  Reducing the stigma of mental illness is so important in order for us to move forward with everyone getting the care that they deserve.

There are some statistics on the site that cover many aspects of the demographics of who is impacted by this. If you look at them carefully, you will see that you are in contact with someone in all of these groups every day. You never know who is struggling with mental illness so be KIND to everyone who crosses your path.

Some of the statistics show that:

  • 1 in 5 U.S. adults experience mental illness each year
  • 1 in 25 U.S. adults experience serious mental illness each year
  • 1 in 6 U.S. youth aged 6-17 experience a mental health disorder each year

Take the time to educate yourself.  Maybe someone in your household is struggling with this at this time.  If you are the one in need of these services, reach out and schedule an appointment. There is NO shame in admitting this. In this time of COVID you have many options available on how to receive care. In-person or Telehealth visits are now available all across the country. This is one of the great things that has come out of these trying times.

If you have lost your job and no longer have insurance coverage, there are many sources available where you can receive services for free or for reduced costs.  Please know that you are not alone.

Read up. Reach out to your primary care physician. Reach out to someone. Reach out to me if you don’t know where to start.  The hardest step is the first one.  Visit nami.org to see the great resources that are available to you.

REDUCE THE STIGMA…